“You’re not the boss!”
I often say this to my girls. Especially when things are getting out of control and they are becoming defiant, fighting, or trying to parent each other. “You are not the boss! I am.”
Sometimes my need to express this fact comes across a few decibels higher than the ideal ‘inside-voice’ volume to really get my point across. However, it usually does the trick! And although I am disciplining them and they have lost their perceived power, I see their little shoulders relax. It’s almost as if they are acknowledging, “Phew! I wasn’t really in charge after all! I thought I was, and it was stressing me out, and I didn’t know how to handle it well.”
Over the last few years, I have realized that a lot of my fear and anxiety were linked directly to my desire to be in control.
“If I can just control this scenario…”
“If I can just keep all of the people in my world safe…”
“If I can have control—or even the illusion of control—then everything will be ok…”
When all the people I love are safe—then I can have peace—then I can relax. I can feel my shoulders relaxing just as my daughters do.
“You are not the boss, you are not in control,” God tells me. Phew! I can relax.
The opposite of being in control is not being out of control when we know the One who is ultimately in charge.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
