I don’t know about you, but my temper is at its shortest in the mornings before school.
There are four tiny people I have to get ready and out the door by 7:45am. I just don’t have time to give repeated reminders for things like putting on shoes, grabbing backpacks, or not throwing matchbox cars at each others’ faces.
On a bad morning, I yell at the kids or at least take a tone that clearly conveys frustration at having to wait for a second shoe to be found. On a good morning, I bridle my anger—I stay quiet.
In Colossians 3, Paul speaks to some of the specific behaviors we need to put to death, including anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk—a few of the characteristics belonging to our ‘old self.’ He says: “Now you must put them all away” (Colossians 3:8).
On those good mornings with my kids, I can put away anger. I can swallow sarcasm and sharp tones, and say nothing instead. I can repeat my reminders with a collected tone and stay on the periphery—making sure our kids get out the door on time, while not getting too emotionally involved in the situation.
But is that really a good day? Paul’s exhortation doesn’t stop with the things we’re to ‘put off,’ after all. He continues in Colossians 3:12-14: “Put on then…compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and…forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love.”
I’m stopping short if I’m happy to just not be angry. The real question is: “What have I replaced my anger with?” because all too often I celebrate a lack of the negative without taking steps to put on my new self.
Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love.
The next time a matchbox car goes flying in the morning, I hope I won’t be content just to eliminate anger. Instead, I should extend compassion and kindness to my children—just as God has extended them to me.
