“They don’t feel like me.”
I was wearing the fitted jacket with the ‘clean lines’ and ‘flattering fit’ and matching tailored trousers when I said that. The suit did not feel natural on jeans-and-tee me.
Some little girls love to dress up, but I was not one of them. Dressing up fancy made me feel fake. Fast forward 20 years, and my sister waited outside the fitting room days before my first job interview. “Professional and feminine,” she said. So out I walked with clothing much fancier than me.
That suit looked good, but it didn’t feel like me. Sometimes I feel just as fake when I wear love: “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14).
When I smile at someone who hurt me, it feels awkward. When I stop and listen to a friend while my own list is a mile long, it feels unnatural. When I use soft words to correct my boys even though they know better, it feels strange.
It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel natural—fake it till you make it. I love how C.S. Lewis put it in “Mere Christianity”: “Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself, ‘If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?’ When you have found the answer, go and do it.”
Here’s the thing: When we try to love like God, we’re not pretending to be someone we’re not. We’re growing up into who we are. Loving when we don’t feel loving isn’t hypocrisy, it’s maturity.
Sometimes loving others might feel as fake as my pants suit. But loving when it’s hard is not fake. It’s the essence of faith. It’s becoming who we are. It is ‘faithing it’, not faking it.
How can you ‘put on love’ today, even if it feels fake?
22 comments
I LOVE this word Abigail!!! I needed it- in an awkward pants suit type of way.
And it’s so true that if we try and love like God- NOT FAKE!!! Ironic right- a pants suit for our flesh suit 😉
God cannot be out-loved!!
Mina! Those pesky flesh suit; they are not so becoming on us. I suspect I’ll be stripping that one off till the last day. And then…JESUS face to face!
Definitely a great reminder to start my day!
Thank you, Brooke. I needed it too.
That quote is brilliant! … when you have found the answer, go and do it! Faithing it! Thank you Abigail.
Yes! Lewis didn’t pull his punches. And he lived it too, so many years with Warnie and Mrs. Moore.
I love this: Loving when we don’t feel loving isn’t hypocrisy, it’s maturity. And It is ‘faithing it’, not faking it. Oh my, did I need this today!!! Thank you I love it.
Thanks, Ana. I need this reminder ALL THE TIME. Love often does not feel “natural.” But it is the right thing!
Thank you so much! i love this and needed this ❤️ faithing it and that comment loving not feeling natural but the right thing I love really an inspiration to my start of the day!
Thank you, Jossalyn. God calls us to it and he gives us grace to do it; growing up into Jesus.
Thank you Abigail for this challenging reminder! “Loving when it’s hard is not fake, it’s the essence of faith!” ❤️
Thanks, Teresa. Glory to the God at work within us.
This is true. We are called to love even our enemies. Pray for those who hurt us. I struggle to love sometimes, when my kids are throwing tantrums, picking up after my family, or when I’m just tired. It takes a lot of humility besides. When that feels “fake,” I know it’s time to repent and ask the Lord for help. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
Thank you, Lisa. Yes! It sure does take a lot of humility. And our God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.
Yes! Love is a choice! You can fake a feeling, but you can’t fake a choice. I shared this on my IG stories!
Wow! Praise God! He is good. Thanks for sharing.
“When we try to love like God, we’re not pretending to be someone we’re not. We’re growing up into who we are.” I love this! We love because He first loved us. And I also got to contemplating that there have been many dear people who have loved me well when I have been difficult to love. So thank you for sharing, Abigail. What a beautiful reminder and one that I needed today.❤️
Thank you. I am blessed by your humble perspective. Yes, that is the truth. I can be pretty hard to love sometimes and despite myself, I am loved. “While we were still sinners…”
Ah the words that stood out!
Doesn’t feel like me. Awkward. Unnatural. Strange.
…and yet…
“When we try to love like God, we’re not pretending to be someone we’re not. WE’RE GROWING UP into who we ARE.”
And growing up involves some discomfort / awkwardness / unnaturalness / strangeness.
If it feels this way, you’re probably doing it right. (Fav phrase from my counselor)
Traci, thank you. This is such a mindset shift isn’t it? Or to think that when we’re doing it right it just might feel odd.
The admonition for me came in the phrase, “when I use soft words to correct my boys even though they know better…” There have been some hard days at work lately, with students doing things that, I think, they know they shouldn’t do. I’ve found myself becoming less soft in addressing them. I need to heart and speech softened and trust God to do what needs to be done in their hearts.
Thanks, Hannah. Yes, my gentle voice is not my natural voice. It is my supernatural, Christ-in-me voice. Love on!